Things Every Man Wishes His Lady Knew About Sex, But Doesn’t Know How To Tell Her. +18 (Part 1)

I realize all men are different, and some prefer some things over others, but overall, I feel that there are a lot of ladies out there who REALLY WANT to make their sex life with their man what God intended it to be, but sometimes get frustrated by not understanding why he’s always asking for sex, even when they just had it, or what he means when he says things like “I just want you to want me”.

So it’s for this reason, I decided to write this post. It’s not to make ladies feel inadequate, or bad about what they’re not doing right, but rather to let you inside a guys head for a little bit, and help you understand where your man is coming from when he is thinking about all things sexual. I think a lot of the problems that arise in a couple’s sex life, start with a lack of communication/understanding on both sides, on how a man and woman view sex in totally different ways. Finding and understanding those differences are the first step to having and maintaining healthy, passionate, and incredibly fulfilling sex life. Make sense so far?

Ok, if you’re ready, here are things (in no particular order) that men wish their ladies knew about sex:

ex is not optional in his mind– To a man, sex is about right up there on the list with eating and breathing. Can he survive without it? Yes, but it’s not fun at all. Sex is to the man, what talking/communication is to the woman. If you would ask several wives if it would be ok if their husband didn’t listen or communicate with them for weeks at a time – well, you get the idea. Frequent sex = happy, attentive, listening, cuddling, caring, talking man.

Men use sex to reconnect – Think of it this way: Let’s use the example of a cordless phone (bear with me here). Let’s say the man is the cordless handset, and the lady is the base. The handset may hold a charge for a while off the base, maybe even for a couple of days. But sooner or later, the handset is going to have recharged/reconnected to the base to keep the battery charged, the programming updated, and the phone usable. When your husband comes home from a long day at work, and the first thing on his mind is sex, it’s not that he’s some sort of sex addict, it’s just him longing to “return to his base” and reconnect with his wife in a “I’ve had a long day, and I need assurance that no matter how hard life gets, you and I are ok” way.

He doesn’t always want to be the one asking – Most husbands are fine with being the “sexual aggressor” most of the time, but if he is ALWAYS the one that is trying to start something, he starts to feel like you just “put up with him”, and don’t really care about sex. Every husband’s fantasy is to be sitting there on the couch, watching TV or whatever, and have his wife come over out of nowhere (obviously the kids aren’t around), straddle him, and start going at it. He wants to know that his wife DESIRES him sexually, not just PUTS UP WITH HIM sexually. This is a huge boost to his self-esteem and overall confidence.

He thinks you’re GORGEOUS, and you can’t change that – It doesn’t matter how you feel about that left over baby fat, or how you cringe when you look in the mirror and see those stretch marks – your husband couldn’t care less! He thinks you’re the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth, and even when he tells you this, you dismiss it, and say stuff like “thanks hon, but I don’t think so”, or “well, you may feel that way, but nobody else does”. Please don’t do this! Your husband isn’t trying to “put you on” by telling your he thinks your body is amazing – he truly thinks it is! You have to learn to accept the compliment as him being honest, and say thank you, instead of trying to play it off. And that leads me to my next point…

Sometimes he just wants to look at you Unclad – I can already see you rolling your eyes, but hear me out. If your man is working hard to avert his eyes from every other sexual source besides his lady, not viewing any porn, not checking out the girl on the billboard, etc – he has a God-given need/desire/appetite to admire his wife’s naked body. I know this may seem strange to you, but it’s true. So, when you’re getting dressed in the morning, or ready for bed at night, don’t try to position yourself so he can’t see those parts of you. It’s ok! He’s not going to attack you and want to have sex (as long as you have a regular sex life), he just wants to appreciate your beauty for a little bit! Remember, you are his only sexual source! Wouldn’t you rather have him looking at you, then some billboard model? I’ve heard a lot of ladies say that they are scared if they allow their men to see them nude, they will want to have sex right that minute. If it’s been a week since you’ve made love, this may be true, but if you have sex regularly, sometimes it’s nice for him to just be able to admire what he thinks is the most amazing body he has ever seen. So linger a little while when you bend over to pick up your socks off the floor, or let your robe “accidentally” fall open a little when he walks by. Not only will he love it, but you just might find yourself thinking about sex a little more during the day, leading to a greater chance of you desiring intimacy later that night.

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