You've been in a relationship for a while and are more than ready to
walk down the aisle but does he feel the same way? You may be in a great
relationship but what's the point if it's not going anywhere? If you
have your doubts, these #signs he may never propose, will come in handy. There's nothing worse than being in a dead end #relationship
where you're in it for the long haul but where he may never propose. If
you have been noticing these signs he may never propose, it's TIME to follow these steps
"Of course, even if a guy is ready to walk down the aisle, he still
needs to find the right person," says ME "But he is more likely to
meet her once he's in that marrying state of mind." To help us figure it
all out, i need to explain. Here are the five factors
that make a man want to take the plunge.
COMMITMENT FACTOR #1
The Capacity to Love
No
matter how head-over-heels your guy is during the initial honeymoon
period of the relationship, it doesn't mean he is ready to commit. A man
might fall in love, which requires the capacity to idealize.
That means thinking and feeling like his partner and the relationship
are uniquely special, enabling him to ignore imperfections, which, in
turn, makes him feel valued and special.
Loving, on the other hand, involves connecting with the other person, understanding her, and wanting to be with her for who she is, not who he'd like her to be.
While it might be difficult to decipher the
difference between the two, one clue is the test of time. Falling in
love happens early on in a relationship, when a couple barely knows each
other. Once they become more intimate and learn more about each other's
positive and negative traits and the initial love buzz is gone, a man
who is only in love will lose interest. If he truly loves, he'll stay.
Another
major telltale sign of real love is selflessness and the ability to
care. Does your man make sacrifices for you? Is he able to put your
wants and needs before his? Relationships are all about give and take,
but love is more about giving.
COMMITMENT FACTOR #2
Being Able to Accept Imperfection
Intellectually,
we all know that there are no perfect people and, therefore, no perfect
relationships. But it often takes maturity and dating experience to
actually believe it.
Take a NOB reader of mine, who broke up with a
wonderful woman simply because he thought he could do better. A year
later, he met someone else, who was also great but far from perfection.
After two years of dating, he decided to propose. If he had met her a
few years earlier, he would have broken up with her too. But now, he
realizes that this is as good as it gets, though it took him several
relationships to finally understand that.You see ?
Having unrealistic expectations makes it impossible for a man to develop
a close bond. If a guy who isn't ready starts getting too close to a
woman, he'll look for imperfections,either consciously or
subconsciously, to create distance between them and, ultimately, to give
him a reason to break up with her.
COMMITMENT FACTOR #3
He Truly Believes in Commitment
Even
if a man tells you that he's in it for the long term, you won't really
know the level of his staying power until you hit some rough patches. If
he's not ready, he won't be able to handle the negative aspects of a
relationship, and he'll either shut down and shut you out or bail. A
man who is truly ready to bond will be willing to work with you to try
to resolve whatever problems the two of you are having. This doesn't mean that he'll never experience any doubts or even think
about leaving. But at the end of the day, he'll realize that his
relationship is a top priority and whatever discomfort he might have to
endure to work out the kinks is worth it. It's a trade-off he's willing
to make.
COMMITMENT FACTOR #4
He's Sure He Can Be the Man
Even
though stereotypical gender roles have loosened up and many men are no
longer required to be the breadwinners, a lot of guys still worry, deep
down, that they should be...and a lot of women still expect it. So if a
guy feels that he can't live up to his or his partner's expectations, he might put off getting seriously involved to avoid
feeling like he's not capable. It's a way for him to protect his ego.
According to the National Marriage Project, 47 percent of men agree
that they wouldn't want to get married until they could afford to own a
home, and 40 percent would want to be able to afford a nice wedding.
But
it's not just the money or lack thereof that will cause a guy to
shy away from commitment. If a guy is putting all of his time and energy
into pursuing a goal, whether it's climbing the corporate ladder or
working toward finishing medical school, he just won't have anything
left to give to a partner, both physically and emotionally. So he puts
romance on the back burner. Hmm... that's not to say he will never want to pop the question. If your
man is floundering career wise or struggling to make ends meet, it might
be in your interest to bide your time and wait for him to become ready.
Of course, it depends on the dynamic between the two of you. But if he
seems fully engaged in the relationship, clearly states that he wants to
get married after he accomplishes whatever goal he has been working on,
and his time frame is reasonable, your patience could eventually pay
off.
COMMITMENT FACTOR #5
He's Tired of Playing Around
While
there's no specific age at which men are ready to marry (nor do they
all mature at the same rate), after a while, going from one superficial
relationship to another begins to lose its allure, and they crave a
deeper kind of bond with someone.
This more intimate mind-set may
be expedited if all the guy's friends are starting to settle down. For
one thing, it becomes harder for him to find buddies to party with. But
more important, with everyone around him getting more serious about
their relationships, he's more likely to reflect on what he wants in
life. Though bachelorhood can be fun and exciting, it's often
emotionally unfulfilling. And ultimately, at some point, most men want
to have that soul-mate connection.
The Art of the Ultimatum
Get this Ladies, you must give your man an ultimatum or deadlines to propose to you if it pays
him by following his thoughts. If he has...
him by following his thoughts. If he has...
A Legit Excuse
If
you really think the two of you click but he's slowing a bit because he's
temporarily focused on something else, like finishing grad school, give
him a firm deadline (e.g., till he reaches his goal).
He Needs to Rethink His Priorities
Say he's a jock and
you hate sports, but he wishes you had that in common. Is it so
important to him that he's willing to risk losing you? (Note: If the
answer is yes, you don't want him anyway.)
He's Chronically Indecisive
Some guys are reluctant
because they can't make a decision. He's not afraid of committing to
you; he's just afraid of committing. If that sounds like your man, he
might need prodding to get off the proverbial fence. Just tell him that
you want him to be in your life, but if he can't make a decision in the
next couple of months, you'll have to move on. Warning: If you issue an
ultimatum, you better be prepared to stick to it.
Trust me ladies, this would work if you follow these procedures and prepare you for a long-lasting togetherness
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